Full Circle Moment

I had a lovely full circle moment today.  I had just finished going to see the Hunger Games for the second time--love it!  (Btw, new favorite thing is going to see movies by myself, it's so relaxing)-when I realized I was walking right past Su Casa.  Su Casa is the Mexican restaurant I went to on my birthday three years ago with Bailey and Blair on my first ever visit to Chicago.  That was the trip when I first said that I would live in Chicago some day.  And here I was three exact years later, walking by this restaurant having lived in Chicago for 9 months and having completed a year of graduate school.  I stopped and took a picture because you have to appreciate moments like these.

#anything is possible.  (that hashtag is for Sara).  ;)  Dream Big.

Reflections

As you all know, I always like to take time to stop and reflect when something has just ended or I've had a meaningful experience.

Today was my last day as a practicum student/teacher's aide at Swift School.  I worked in the 4th grade classroom every Tuesday and sometimes Thursday with the best classroom of students and the best teacher I probably will ever work with.  This year was my last chance to work in a classroom and directly with a large group of students since I'm heading into my work that is directly in the field of school psychology.

I have to say that my time at Swift was an absolute pleasure.  I remember the first day I arrived, it was so quiet in the room and all the kids were working so diligently on their morning work--I kept waiting all morning and afternoon for some kid to misbehave or someone to go off task, and it never happened.  (I had already been working at another school on the southwest side so this was a VERY VERY pleasant change of pace).  And you know what?  It didn't happen ALL YEAR.

The teacher is absolutely amazing.  If we had more teachers half as talented and wonderful as her, we would be so much further ahead in our educational system.  I learned so much from watching her teach.  I seriously would be wanting to go get my teaching certificate right now if I wasn't already doing school psychology.  She made it look so easy.  I loved how she used positive reinforcement and never ever let something go--there was total and complete accountability so little problems never escalated into big problems.

The kids are the nicest kids in the world.  They are all so kind to each other.  I never once heard one say "shut up," to another and that has become a pervasive problem in some schools.  They love to play with each other at recess and don't leave anyone out.  They say "Thank you," not "What else do you have for me?"  Breath of fresh air.

Today they threw me a party since it was my last day.  I brought them in notes and cookies.  They brought me cupcakes, a Swift t-shirt, and wrote me letters and drew me pictures.  We played games and also had popcorn.  I took some pictures with them too.  They made my year so much better and I can't wait to help more kids, but I wish I could work with this bunch again.  Everyone should be relieved to know that these kids are out there and are helping to make the world a better place.

Things I learned or continued to practice through my experiences at Swift this year:
--at an IEP meeting, talk to the parent and always summarize what is going on in language they can understand.
--also, keep the teacher informed on the technical jargon you're using.  Don't assume everyone knows all about the terms you learned in grad school.
--Listen to the teacher, the teacher knows the student better than anyone.
--talk to the kids genuinely and show your interest--have fun with them
--I learned tons of classroom management strategies--the homework chart, the group contingency stars on the board system, the quiet but fun classroom indoor recess games, the bag of sticks for choosing students to participate in class, the huge sticky pad to log things they learned in each lesson (the notes were then plastered on the walls), total and complete accountability--silent lunch for unsigned planner, unfinished homework, small misbehaviors.

I feel blessed I got to meet this group of students and work with such an amazing teacher.

Loneliness verus Aloneness

I was going to write this in my journal since it is somewhat personal but I think it should go on here since I think it's pretty important.

Since I've moved to Chicago, I've become quite a master at being alone. I do not let the fact that I may have no one to do something with keep me from doing it. I haven't made any close friends since being here and that means that a lot of the time, I do things by myself. People are nice here; I just haven't really clicked with anyone. And you know what? That's truly okay. Yes, I would love for it to happen, but if it doesn't, I'm still having fun and learning a lot about myself. I'm not the same person I was in high school (thank God!) who would sit around moping thinking "Nobody likes me. Life is so boring. I never do anything." No, I've come to realize that loneliness is a state of mind. And it's a state of mind I choose not to have.

Since I've been here I've gone to two concerts alone and had a fabulous time (David Cook and Sara Bareilles). I went to wait in line for tickets to see the Breaking Dawn cast and then went to see them by myself. I've gone running alone, to the zoo and conservatory alone, to the Museum of Science and Industry, the Art Institute, the Shedd, tons of shopping places, the park, cafes, to see the Green River and the St. Patrick's Day parade, to bookstores, to get gelato, to yoga. I've also done all kinds of traveling alone. I stay home and watch movies and just enjoy having time to relax.

I guess the point is, yeah, going out with people is fun, but when you don't have the option, you can choose to sit around feeling sorry for yourself or you can make your own fun. It's up to you. We are in control of our state of mind. Choose to be lonely or choose to be alone.

Your choice.

It's been a while

me where it all began, McGee. Rockhurst!
Great times with Grandpa on the lovely plaza
This is when I visited Rockhurst and found my research hanging on the wall! I'm famous. ;)


I have wanted to write a few times but it's hard to find the time. This entry is going to be pretty disjointed.

Spring break was wonderful but too short. I got to spend tons of time outside and ride my bike at home a lot. I had the chance to hang out with Jacqueline and Ciara and see the Vow--pretty good, but didn't make me cry. I got to spend time with the uber awesome family. And realize once again, how amazingly good I have it. I have been forced to reflect on things like this for class but also I just am overwhelmed by it naturally---I would not change one single thing about my family or what we have or do not have. Yes, I wish I would've been able to travel more as a child and learn to play a musical instrument. But those are tiny little things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is having a loving supporting family who wants the best for you and provides you with what you need. And I have been blessed to receive a great education.

I mean, how great is it to have a family where everyone actually likes each other? It's actually pretty rare nowadays.

I also met my all time favorite author, Jodi Picoult, in KC. She's so amazingly talented and I wanted to tell her but they rushed us along so I only had time to say thank you. It was so much fun to hear her speak. ;)

I also have had the chance to reflect on a few other things. I have been privileged to work at Swift this year. Those kids are amazing in every way. Never before have I been in a classroom where every child has such a completely pure heart and obvious kindness. Their teacher is amazing too. Wonderful. I'm learning a lot there just by watching even though there isn't a ton for me to do. The other school I'm at has taught me a lot in a different way but I better not dwell on it here.

Random, but in the past week, I decided to give up coffee for at least the duration of Lent. I'm drinking tea instead. It's kind of fun--there are all kinds of cool flavors and scents to try.

We have been blessed to have amazing weather lately but when it rained today I was actually kind of glad. Nothing like a good spring rain. I love seeing all of the spring flowers too, especially my favorites, the daffodils.

Just trying to make it through the rest of the semester and enjoy spring in Chicago!

Living in the moment

Can I tell you something?

I love dancing. I didn't say I was good at it. I'm so not. But I really like how it makes you feel when you just let go and feel it and let it move you. (I also love run on sentences because I never get to use them in academic writing-btw). Now, it may take a few ehmm, beverages to help me completely relax and be able to lower my inhibitions so that I can risk looking like a fool, but so be it. It's nice to let go and actually completely feel and be in the moment. It's nice to let the id (that's the Freudian id) take control and b$tchslap the superego. Had a fun time the other night staying out the latest I ever have and just letting myself enjoy the moment. You're only young once, right?

Love Letter

Love letter to New Mexico:

Dear New Mexico,

I'm in love with you. It took me less than a week to fall deeply and passionately in love with you. At first I wasn't sure about you. The first few days I missed my home. I was lonely and you keeping me up all night with all your wind didn't help any. But pretty soon you stole my heart. I fell in love with your beautiful land and vibrant colors--the purple mountains painted across your arid landscape. The way your land stretches out as far as the eye can see with the azure sky reaching to meet you made me love you. The smell of your ponderosa pines and the sight of your crystalline lakes took my breath away. I love everything about you. You even made Colorado a little jealous of you--luckily Colorado knows it touched my soul first. But New Mexico, you have my heart. And you always will.

I'll miss you this summer. But I promise you, I think of you each and every day, and I will be back for you.

Love,

Rachel

The Present

Sometimes if I look around and stop thinking about myself for one second (hard, I know) I feel really existential. This happens to be sometimes in the Merchandise Mart watching people come and go and live their lives, and also sometimes in the L stations watching people enter and exit the turnstiles. I just think, what is everyone doing? Where is everyone going? What's the point to all this really? I try not to dwell on it for too long because (a) I'm too self-centered and (b) It's pretty overwhelming.

Another thought I've had: I think that sometimes I spend too much of my time looking back to my many wonderful memories and also looking ahead to what I hope are more amazing things. I wonder, am I ignoring the "now?" It's just, these things in my past shaped me and made me who I am. They meant the world to me so I can't stop thinking about them. I think about Philmont most days at some point and the West and what an amazing time I had there and how I want to live there some day. I make wishes and visionboards and pin things to pinterest all about my "someday" kind of life, which is great because you have to have dreams and clear visions to make the life you want a reality, but how do I make sure that I'm not neglecting the present?