If you want to know where your heart is...

Before I first went to Colorado when I was a junior in high school I had no idea that I would ever want to live anywhere else but Kansas City. When I saw the mountains for the first time, something shifted. and I knew things would never be the same. I had one of the best weeks of my life there, and when I left, I cried, not knowing when I would be back. From that point on, something started growing inside of me--a wanderlust--a strong and irresistible desire to see and travel the world.

I went to Chicago the first time for a conference in senior year of college. I went thinking there was no way I'd really like it since it was such a big city. However, from the moment I stepped out of that cab I felt a feeling of certainty that I would be back and I would live there some day.

And I do.

I guess what I'm saying is you never know when and how your life is going to change. Be open to these moments and let them take you where you are meant to be. Life is too short to live it with regrets.

One of my favorite quotes sums it up perfectly: "If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders."

Colorado feels like it's next. The mountains are always where my mind goes when it wanders. And for now, I'm going to enjoy living in one of the greatest cities there is. A place I once only dreamed about living.

The Knowing

I have the knowing back. For those who might not know, the knowing is a term from one of my favorite authors, Susane Colasanti. It's all about following your heart and following your destiny. Follow the knowing to where you are meant to be or who you are meant to be with.

As you all know, I've been on the fence about staying here in Chicago or moving on to Colorado, or now, possibly even Phoenix, next year. It's a struggle because I've really grown to feel like this is home, I know my way around now, and I have my places here now. But over the last few weeks, the knowing has come back stronger that it's almost time to move on. We were offered a chance to interview for some positions in the southern suburbs of Chicago this week and when I read it I realized I didn't want it. Gut instinct, the heart, the knowing, whatever you want to call it says to be patient and wait and I will find my ideal internship. Being patient is tough too.

I pulled the best wisdom card a few nights ago. It says:

"I am at peace. I relax and enjoy life. I know that whatever I need to know is revealed to me in the perfect time and space sequence."

This is exactly what I needed to hear and what I need to remember.

New Year, New Possibilities

I've been posting this note on facebook the last few years but am doing it on here now since no one uses that feature anymore.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before? 

ran a marathon

2. Did you keep the new years resolution you made last year? 

kept several--a few were: joined a vball league, try new things, be fearless

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no

4. Did anyone close to you die? no one extremely close

5. What countries did you visit? US 

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?  a relationship, more close friends in Chicago, a trip abroad, the knowing about where I want to live (same as I wrote last year pretty much)

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 

October 7, 2012--completed Chicago marathon. Hiked the AT in May 2012 and summited Mt. Bierstadt in August 2012.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Pike's Peak and my first semester of grad school

9. What was your biggest failure? I don't feel like I failed. I tried new things. (same as last year)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? stomach virus Dec 30th. almost escaped the year without a bad illness.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Shalimar and Shenandoah, my kitties I adopted

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? ?mine!  lol (ame as last year ;)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? all of the horrible news stories on gun violence

14. Where did most of your money go? school

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my trips!

16. What song will always remind you of 2012? Call me Maybe

17. Compared to this time last year, are you

a) happier or sadder? so happy

b) thinner or fatter? prob about the same

c) richer or poorer? much poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? maybe going out a bit more

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? worrying as always, a bit less eating

20. How did you spend Christmas? with family!

21. Did you fall in love in 2012? no

22. How many one-night stands? Zero.

23. What was your favorite TV program? vampire diaires!!!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no

25. What was the best book you read? Hmmmm.read a bunch, it's just hard to recall which was the best.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Mumford and Sons rule. 

27. What did you want and get? to know Chicago better

28. What did you want and not get? European getaway

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Perks of being a Wallflower

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 25. I went for a run, saw Hunger Games, got a cupcake, went to the lakefront, and had dinner with Erin.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Maurice's clothes

33. What kept you sane? friends, family, tv, working out, yoga, my cats, candles, self-care

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ian Somerhalder  (yep, same as last year)  Also, David Cook

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Education, gun violence

36. Who did you miss? family and friends who I live far away from

37. Who was the best new person you met? met tons of new people through volleyball and volunteering

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012: 

Be Fearless, Be positive. Always look for the good. Learn from your mistakes. You can do much more than you ever thought possible. You can do anything you set your mind to.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"I don't ever want to leave this town/'cause after all/this city never sleeps at night." -Imagine Dragons