Sometimes if I look around and stop thinking about myself for one second (hard, I know) I feel really existential. This happens to be sometimes in the Merchandise Mart watching people come and go and live their lives, and also sometimes in the L stations watching people enter and exit the turnstiles. I just think, what is everyone doing? Where is everyone going? What's the point to all this really? I try not to dwell on it for too long because (a) I'm too self-centered and (b) It's pretty overwhelming.
Another thought I've had: I think that sometimes I spend too much of my time looking back to my many wonderful memories and also looking ahead to what I hope are more amazing things. I wonder, am I ignoring the "now?" It's just, these things in my past shaped me and made me who I am. They meant the world to me so I can't stop thinking about them. I think about Philmont most days at some point and the West and what an amazing time I had there and how I want to live there some day. I make wishes and visionboards and pin things to pinterest all about my "someday" kind of life, which is great because you have to have dreams and clear visions to make the life you want a reality, but how do I make sure that I'm not neglecting the present?
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