Sigh

Conflicting feelings.
There's something that made me really angry the last week and I can't go into details on here because you can't put things online that someone might find and get you in trouble. Suffice it to say, the powers that be have lied to me and all of us really, can have made life considerable more expensive and difficult. And I'm paying to let them do it. And I can't do or say anything at the risk of appearing unprofessional. Life really sucks sometimes. If you want more details, ask me via facebook or email. I'm ticked off and trying to just get over it because angry just makes life harder.

And off and on I've been getting really sad. When I think about Bonjour or Philmont or just missing family and friends, I get sad. I miss that amazing sense of community and support. My kids at Bonjour were so amazing and I just want to still be there for them. Yes, I know that I probably wouldn't have been with most of them anyway since the school closed, and yes, I know I was never going to be make any money doing what I was doing, but it doesn't mean I can't regret the fact that I can't be with them anymore. And Philmont--you almost shouldn't work at Philmont because of how much you will miss Philmont when you're not there.

I'm okay here. I'm just working to figure out how to remember the past without it causing me sadness.