Thoughts after this election

Watching the election results Tuesday night was like a waking nightmare. I could feel my heart sinking with each new announcement for Trump. I ended up crying and being too anxious to sleep for a while. I woke up twice and had a hard time getting back to sleep.  The idea that someone who has run on the platform of such hate towards so many becoming the president of our country is very upsetting. The idea that so many people don't care about the things he has said and done because he says he anti-abortion or because he claims he can help their economic problems is just as upsetting. Here's the thing: it's easy to brush things that he said under the rug if they don't affect you. So for example if you're a white Christian male, or even white Christian female who believe that being pro-life is all that matters, it won't bother you that he said he can "grab women by the pussy," or that he wants to build a wall between U.S. and Mexico, or that he said he wants to deport Muslims. It won't bother you that there is talk of him appointing a Creationist as Secretary of Education. It won't upset you that his hate speech and anti-woman speech and actions have made hateful people feel it is more acceptable to openly show their hate. Or at least it didn't upset you enough to not vote for him. It also won't bother you that he denies climate change because you probably also don't believe it exists despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Here's the thing. I was raised in a very isolated manner surrounded by people who looked like me, thought like me, and told me what to believe. It wasn't until I traveled to Colorado at age 17 and then Chicago at age 21 that I realized how much more was truly out there. I had wanted to see the world in a vague sense before then, but I had never been motivated to try something new. College began to expand my worldview by introducing me to friends and people who had been raised differently than me. My classes in psychology, which yes, is a science, showed me that homosexuality is not a choice and helped me understand the human psyche. I moved to Chicago and got my degree in school psychology and my worldview expanded even more. Chicago is a beautiful city that has its issues for sure with gang violence and racial tensions and divide, but I am so proud to live here as it is also a city that is incredibly open and inclusive.  For the first time in my life, I was living in a city where you can feel free to 100% be who you truly are without fear. I see men who love men, women who love women, and women and men who love one another who are free to express that. There are religious and non-religious. There are spiritual people and atheists. All of this combined with how I was raised have made me who I am and have made me more able to see and understand both sides of many issues. 

I have also become a feminist and am becoming more and more so every day. In case you weren't yet aware, being a feminist simply means you believe men and women are equal and deserve the same rights and opportunities. It is not our right to determine what a woman can and cannot do to her body because it may compromise with someone's moral beliefs.  It is not anyone's right to try to defund Planned Parenthood, an organization which provides free or reduced medical care to so many people who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford it. It it not our right to try to make a grieving woman or woman who simply chose for herself what was right be shamed for making a choice. Think twice before you dehumanize a woman who needs a late-term abortion for medical reasons. Think twice before you tell a rape victim that she should suck it up and be pregnant for nine months and then give birth to that baby. Do not think it is okay to shame a woman for her sexual experience or inexperience. I will also not accept a man who has admitted to sexually assaulting women as my president. And shame on you if you are more willing to believe that a group of women collaborated to make up these stories before you're willing to believe Donald Trump assaulted these women even after you heard it on tape. Women and men deserve equal rights and respect, period. 

I know why some people who are Catholic voted for Trump even though the Pope himself stated his lack of support. They vote on one issue often, and one issue only, and that is whether or not a candidate is pro-life. I completely understand as I used to believe the same way. I used to also think in such black and white terms before I knew the whole story. I believed a lot of things blindly, out of fear, out of shame, and because I didn't know another way. All of this is complicated by the fact that I was privileged to receive a great education through the Catholic school system. So I have had to wrestle with doubt, shame, fear, guilt, cognitive dissonance, and now anger while moving from one side to another. I am grateful to have had parents who cared so much for me and who taught me good morals and who sacrificed to give me a good education. I am grateful to have been allowed the freedom to grow and get this education so that I could learn to form my own opinions. It is okay to no longer believe the same things as your parents. It is okay to be angry and feel that you were brainwashed too. I have dealt with all of these feelings. But I am so so grateful to now be able to see so many different perspectives now. It is a rare thing. And I promise to no longer be silent about things that matter. I will stand with those who are oppressed. It is my responsibility.

Happy Halloween!

I had such a great time having friends over for a Halloween party last weekend. I hadn't seen everyone in a while so it was so nice to celebrate Halloween and the Cubs and Indians in the World Series. Having friends that are so great make it hard to imagine maybe not being here this time next year. But that's sort of the plan right now. I can always change my mind, but I have Colorado on the brain and have ever since getting back from Europe. I want to be able to hike every weekend and see mountains in the distance. I want to see the aspen trees turn gold in person. I obviously know that it won't make all of life's problems go away, but it's something I would regret if I didn't try it out.
So we shall see what happens in the next few months. Meanwhile, it's been so unusually warm that it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving is just in a few weeks. I'll take it. I know that winter will last a a long time once it starts. Looking forward to seeing family in a few weeks!