Kansas City PROUD

I need to write this down while it's still raw. I didn't know this could hurt so much. I haven't felt this much about my team in forever. When I first became a fan, I lived and died with every pitch and every game. Every loss, I took personally. I felt it to my core. After a few 100 loss seasons, I realized that this would kill me. I kept following them but pushed things aside when it got too bad.

This World Series title would've meant EVERYTHING to us. And I realize yes, it's "just a game," but it's also way more than that. It's bringing a city together, bringing pride back--I'm finally able to wear my Royals gear and know that I don't have to be defensive about it. Kansas City has been recognized as being a real freaking city. I have even more pride in where I come from. To be that freaking close and to have it slip away hurts more than I can describe. It is the most sadness and pain I have ever felt from something that wasn't life or death. And I'm glad I can feel something about this team again. But it also hurts more than you can imagine if you aren't a sport's fan. I had pictured the parade. I had pictured coming home and celebrating with everyone and seeing my team on top.

Tonight I have felt sadness and rage. I went to a different bar than the one I was at after the game and saw Giants fans. The guy who talked to me was "nice" but I couldn't even look at him. When they got up to sing and said "Go Giants!" I screamed lots of expletives and then started crying again. They were singing Journey. And that's another thing. Journey is now ruined for me since Steve Perry is a Giants fan. Which kinda freaking sucks since everyone sings "Don't Stop Believin'" at karaoke. The saving grace of the bar was my friend Christine, who I watched the game with, and a fellow Royals fan she introduced me to who had been crying alone at the bar. We hugged and cried together.

I hope I get to that place soon where I can be happy and proud for this team rather than just upset and devastated. No matter what though, I am PROUD to be  Kansas Citian and I am PROUD to BE ROYAL. The best is yet to come.

Surreal: A Blue October

It's hard to describe what this feels like to people who haven't been diehard Royals fans from the start. Having your team finally be kinda good at this baseball thing after years and years of being absolutely terrible and at best, mediocre, is ridiculously surreal. I've been spent years being self-deprecating about being a Royals fan. People would ask me what team I rooted for, especially after moving here, and I would say the Royals. But, I would usually add, on, "Yeah, I know, we're terrible." It's a defense mechanism! Make fun of yourself before someone else makes fun of you. I started following them in 2000 and used to be so diehard that I would listen to every pre and post game, all of the games, and have someone tape record the games--on a cassette tape---if I couldn't listen for some reason. I used to live and die with every win and loss. After realizing that that might kill me, I eased up a bit, but have always followed these guys.

So being in the WORLD SERIES now, means so much. I want to win it all more than anything. Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy the ride. Wish I was home in KC--hoping for a visit soon. I want to see the blue fountains and buildings lit up blue and maybe feel like this is more real. I still keep pinching myself. Meanwhile, I'll just have to go hit up one of the few Kansas City bars here in Chicago.