The life of a school psychologist in training

So you may be wondering, what the heck does a school psychologist in training do all week?
Or maybe you're not, but I'm telling you anyway because I'm in the mood to write.

Monday: Dunbar Vocational Career Academy, South side of Chicago (very low SES, primarily African American population)
My supervisor picks me up and we drive to Dunbar. We get there and figure out what's scheduled for the day. Usually it's a meeting day so if I've done the testing and the report on the student, I'm expected to present the findings to the parents/teachers/student. EEK! I have three this coming week actually. We have previously done testing and observations and interviews to determine if a student is eligible to receive services in special education. So we have meetings, write reports, and do testing.

Tuesday: Walter Payton College Prep, Old Town-Chicago
I go to Payton in the morning, the #2 high school in the state and among the top in the nation. It is team day there which means meetings and more meetings. I may sneak in an observation of a student if it's needed.
Then I head to classes sadly. I'd rather be at practicum

Wednesday: I work at the writing center at The Chicago School which has it's perks and annoyances. But money is money. Although it doesn't pay well.

Thursday: classes all day. Blah.

Friday: Dunbar/Payton
We hit both schools on Friday. We finish up things we need to do at Dunbar and then head to Payton. We usually will test a kid at Payton and then either have meetings or run a group.

I start at Dumas, an elementary school on the far South side in January, so that will be totally different!

Love letter to Chicago

This place has changed me. I am incredibly sad at the thought of leaving it. So I plan on making the most of every. single. moment. from now until August when I leave (*pending internship). I tell myself that I can always come back here if I want to when they will pay me actual money. It's always an option. But the thought of leaving somewhere that has changed you so deeply in such a short amount of time is really difficult.

I can't even describe adequately how much it has done for me. It's worth the money I'm spending to be here. So maybe that helps describe the impact it has had.

My levels of independence and confidence have increased tenfold. I believe that I can achieve my dreams, as incredibly corny as that sounds. Just by moving here I started to prove that to myself. I can learn to adjust to new surroundings, meet new people, form social relationships, explore new things, find places and make them "my own," and become a part of somewhere new. I can go do things by myself without fearing others are judging me for being alone. And this city is full of open-minded people/(ok, let's just say it--liberal people).

So thank you, Chicago, for changing me and making me the kind of person I've always strived to be.

Chicago? Denver? UGH!

You would think I would've learned by now that trying to plan your life out doesn't really work. I thought hey, I'll go to Chicago for two years and then for sure I'll be ready to leave for Colorado. For sure. There will be no question in my mind. Chicago is nice but there's some really annoying stuff too. Plus, my heart is in Colorado. (This is my voice last year).

Now here I sit, I've been here in Chicago for 15 months now. And. I. Love. it. here. I love who I'm becoming here. I love how diverse and accepting it is. I love all the opportunities to go out and have fun all the time, and a lot of the time it's free. I love my coffee shops and yoga studio. I love the lakefront path. I love the buildings, lake, and architecture. I love my new volleyball team and want to do many more leagues through S3. I love the animal shelter I volunteer at. Even my church isn't so bad most of the time. I'm starting to find my way around here.

Now it's not all rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns. But that's true of wherever you go. Should I consider staying here next year? Even though I'd have to work a part-time job and get even more loans to cover my living expenses? Or do I follow my original dream and go out to Colorado with its most beautiful mountains? Damn you Chicago! Ugh! This wasn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to be the easiest decision ever.

My cafe

I'm sitting in this cafe. My cafe. It's funny how places that start off being just somewhere you walk by on your way to somewhere else can become your place. Yeah, they're a public space, but these places no matter how small and unimportant they start off being are the places that make up your life. Moving to Chicago and creating a life here has taken me a lot of time, and the funny thing is, when the time comes and I finally have all "my places" it will probably be time for me to move on again. That's kind of sad in a way but also really amazing to have the chance to do it all again in a another new city. And no matter what happens and no matter where life takes me, this cafe will always be my place. Some day when I look back and think about those years when I lived in Chicago, seemingly little things like a cafe along a busy street will be the things I look back on and think, "Damn, life is good."

Change

There's this person I was. And then there's this person I am now. These two people are the same at their core but so very very different. And this isn't a bad thing necessarily.

I think it's important to stop for a minute sometimes and take a look at who you are and where you came from. Everything led up to this moment right now to make you who you are. And that's pretty cool.

So last week I gave a presentation in class on a kid I wrote a full report on. And here's the facts--I wasn't nervous at all. I had ZERO nerves of any kind. I knew I knew my stuff, I was confident in myself, I even think I made it somewhat interesting. Sure I stumbled over my words a few times, but I didn't let it fluster me. It was an amazing moment for me. When I think back to how shy I used to be and how scared I was to let myself shine, I'm so incredibly proud of the person I've become.

I've become the person I've always wanted to be. I'm a strong, independent, smart, creative person who is willing to try new things and also is not scared to do things alone. I believe I can do anything. I can use all of my talents and energy now that the fear is removed to help make the world a better place.

FEAR--False Expectations Appearing Real
(Acronym thanks to my wonderful friend Ciara).